A few months ago I wanted so badly for this year to end. 2012 has been one of my most challenging
years yet and I wasn't sure how my oneword was fitting into a year full of
frustration, disappointment, and hopelessness.
I had the phrase live life daringly come to me one day and I really thought my year was going to go amazingly. I also chose the word dare because I wanted to chose to be courageous in some things. I wanted to dare to step out and do things…even if it meant being scared.
The first nine months of this year were hard. So very hard.
I was doing the ugly cry at least once a week and desperate for a change
in my life…any change.
For several months it seemed like dare was the wrong word.
Yet a dear friend would often remind me this is your year of
dare… dare to hope.
Dare to hope.
It became my theme for the year.
I dared to hope for big things. I dared to hope for little things.
Some days felt hopeless and those are the days I would
repeat verses to myself as a reminder there was hope. My favorite two from this year:
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and
secure. Hebrews 6:19a
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who
promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23
Daring to hope was scary.
And I am here to tell you at the end of this year…it’s a courageous
thing.
I also dared to allow myself to let go of some of the things
I had envisioned for myself. I dared to
trust Him fully. With that I applied for jobs I wasn't exactly qualified for
but knew if I got one I would work hard and enjoy it and I put myself out there
in the dating world (online…eep!).
I was pretty sure nothing would come of my choices but at least I had dared to put myself out there...
Yet here I am sitting at the desk of my new job and loving every second (even the boring days with no students) and making plans to spend New Years Eve with a man I adore.
I learned living life daringly means accepting defeat some days... and yet choosing to get up the next day and try again.
It means letting go of some dreams so new ones can take their place.
It means daring to hope even when you feel utterly hopeless.
It means ugly crying and letting go...and then choosing to move forward in hope and trust.
While I am not too disappointed 2012 is coming to a close I cannot help but look back and see beauty...even on the hard days. And how hope and trust sustained me in the most amazing ways.
Tomorrow I am going to share my OneWord for 2013...it took a lot of pondering to come up with it but once I found it...I am so excited to see what comes from it!
Did you choose a word this year? What was it and how has it been a theme for you?
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